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In Case of Nuclear Attack (aka Number Fifteen Sunscreen)

Jan Harmon
Language: English



[1985]
In case of a nuclear attack
Before you evacuate
The EPA has said you will not be dead
If you follow the advice they advocate
Just ...

...rub on number fifteen sunscreen
Call your mother
Cover up the pool
Pick the kids up at school
Wear your sunglasses
Put on clean underwear
Return all library books
And water the plants

Remember your insurance doesn't pay
For nuclear damage to your car
So push it off a cliff or a mountain if
You hear annihilation isn't far
And ...

... rub on number fifteen sunscreen
Call your mother
Cover up the pool
Pick the kids up at school
Wear your sunglasses
Put on clean underwear
Return all library books
And water the plants

Cancel your American Express
At the hint of nuclear mania
For you may be vaporized on Chicago's South Side
But your card could still turn up in Lithuania
And ...

... rub on number fifteen sunscreen
Call your mother
Cover up the pool
Pick the kids up at school
Wear your sunglasses
Put on clean underwear
Return all library books
And water the plants

Be sure and send a change of address
For your local post office's file
For in a holocaust all your mail could get lost
And end up in a dead-letter pile
And ...

... rub on number fifteen sunscreen
Call your mother
Cover up the pool
Pick the kids up at school
Wear your sunglasses
Put on clean underwear
Return all library books
And water the plants

Medicare will cover all the bills
If you happen to be over sixty-five
And if you're on vacation when you die of radiation
You'd get promptly paid, if you were still alive
Oh ... rub on number fifteen sunscreen
Call your mother
Cover up the pool
Pick the kids up at school
Wear your sunglasses
Put on clean underwear
Return all library books
And water the plants.

Contributed by Alessandro - 2009/1/21 - 13:53



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