The first time I'se alive was 1863,
I'm livin' on this Ohio farm,
With a Civil War a-goin' on.
One day I looked in my mailbox...found a letter...
it says "Greetings...Your Uncle Abe wants you!"
Well, I had no money to pay the graft,
So I got caught up in the draft,
Got sent to a place I never heard,
Think they called it Petersburg.
Got shot up real good...died...went to Heaven...
Saint Peter pinned a medal to my chest, though, and sang me
a chorus of "Glory, Halleluyah!"
Up in Heaven I'se doin' fine,
'Til I'm born again 1899,
That's just in time for World War One,
Got grafted again, sent off to Verdun.
Got killed all over again..Saint Peter pinned another medal to
my chest, though, and sang me a medley of George M. Cohan!
Up in Heaven again I flew,
Got born again in '32,
That's a bit too late for World War Two, man,
But that didn't stop old Harry Truman.
Got grafted anyway...sent off to Korea...a place I always wanted
Now some say it's false and some say it's true,
But we crossed over the River Yalu,
Crossed to the top of a lonely hill,
Heard a million Chinese soldiers yellin' shrill.
One word...I think it meant "Kill!"...in Chinese.
Well, I'm back again and feelin' much better,
'Til just the other day I got this letter...
Now there's a proverb, so I'm told,
Says a man gets wiser as he grows old,
And in about month I'm gonna be,
Exactly one hundred and thirty-three.
And I've wised up some...I learned a phrase that wise men
frequently utter...HELL NO, I AIN'T A-GONNA GO!
Contributed by Alessandro - 2008/11/4 - 20:27
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