I don't care if it rains or freezes,
Long as I have my plastic Jesus
Riding on the dashboard of my car,
Through my trials and tribulations
And my travels through the nation
With my plastic Jesus I'll go far
Plastic Jesus,
Plastic Jesus
Riding on the dashboard of my car
I'm afraid he'll have to go,
His magnets ruin my radio
And if I have a wreck, he'll leave a scar
Riding through the thoroughfare
With His nose up in the air
A wreck may be ahead, but he don't mind
Trouble coming, He don't see
He just keeps His eyes on me
And any other thing that lies behind.
Plastic Jesus,
Plastic Jesus,
Riding on the dashboard of my car
Though the sun that shines on his back
Makes him peel, chip, and crack
A little patching keeps Him up to par
When pedestrians try to cross
I let them know who’s boss
I never blow my horn or give them warning
I ride all over town
Trying to run ‘em down
And it's seldom that they live to see the morning
Plastic Jesus,
Plastic Jesus
Riding on the dashboard of my car
His halo fits just right
And I use it as a sight
And they'll scatter or they'll splatter near and far
When I'm in a traffic jam
He don't care if I say Damn
I can let all sorts of curses roll
Plastic Jesus doesn't hear
For he has a plastic ear
The man who invented plastic saved my soul
Plastic Jesus,
Plastic Jesus
Riding on the dashboard of my car
Once His robe was snowy white,
Now it isn't quite so bright
Stained by the smoke of my cigar
If I weave around at night
And the police think I'm tight
They'll never find my bottle, though they ask
Plastic Jesus shelters me
For His head comes off, you see
He's hollow and I use Him for a flask
Plastic Jesus,
Plastic Jesus
Riding on the dashboard of my car
Ride with me and have a dram
Of the blood of the Lamb
Plastic Jesus is a holy bar
I don't care if it rains or freezes,
Long as I have my plastic Jesus
Riding on the dashboard of my car,
Through my trials and tribulations
And my travels through the nation
With my plastic Jesus I'll go far
or [I don't care if the night is scary
As long as I got the Virgin Mary
Sittin' on the dashboard of my car.
She don't slip and she don't slide
Cuz her ass is magnetized
Sittin' on the dashboard of my car.]
Plastic Jesus,
Plastic Jesus
Riding on the dashboard of my car
But I'm afraid He'll have to go
His magnet’s ruining my radio
And if I have a wreck, He'll leave a scar
Long as I have my plastic Jesus
Riding on the dashboard of my car,
Through my trials and tribulations
And my travels through the nation
With my plastic Jesus I'll go far
Plastic Jesus,
Plastic Jesus
Riding on the dashboard of my car
I'm afraid he'll have to go,
His magnets ruin my radio
And if I have a wreck, he'll leave a scar
Riding through the thoroughfare
With His nose up in the air
A wreck may be ahead, but he don't mind
Trouble coming, He don't see
He just keeps His eyes on me
And any other thing that lies behind.
Plastic Jesus,
Plastic Jesus,
Riding on the dashboard of my car
Though the sun that shines on his back
Makes him peel, chip, and crack
A little patching keeps Him up to par
When pedestrians try to cross
I let them know who’s boss
I never blow my horn or give them warning
I ride all over town
Trying to run ‘em down
And it's seldom that they live to see the morning
Plastic Jesus,
Plastic Jesus
Riding on the dashboard of my car
His halo fits just right
And I use it as a sight
And they'll scatter or they'll splatter near and far
When I'm in a traffic jam
He don't care if I say Damn
I can let all sorts of curses roll
Plastic Jesus doesn't hear
For he has a plastic ear
The man who invented plastic saved my soul
Plastic Jesus,
Plastic Jesus
Riding on the dashboard of my car
Once His robe was snowy white,
Now it isn't quite so bright
Stained by the smoke of my cigar
If I weave around at night
And the police think I'm tight
They'll never find my bottle, though they ask
Plastic Jesus shelters me
For His head comes off, you see
He's hollow and I use Him for a flask
Plastic Jesus,
Plastic Jesus
Riding on the dashboard of my car
Ride with me and have a dram
Of the blood of the Lamb
Plastic Jesus is a holy bar
I don't care if it rains or freezes,
Long as I have my plastic Jesus
Riding on the dashboard of my car,
Through my trials and tribulations
And my travels through the nation
With my plastic Jesus I'll go far
or [I don't care if the night is scary
As long as I got the Virgin Mary
Sittin' on the dashboard of my car.
She don't slip and she don't slide
Cuz her ass is magnetized
Sittin' on the dashboard of my car.]
Plastic Jesus,
Plastic Jesus
Riding on the dashboard of my car
But I'm afraid He'll have to go
His magnet’s ruining my radio
And if I have a wreck, He'll leave a scar
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